Peter Salmon Web Site Introduction Welcome to my website, which has everything you need to know about me. That's right, everything.

Pensive Peter Salmon

Proof of Pudding

What discerning judges have said about The Coffee Story

'It's been a while since I read a first novel that felt as universally accomplished as Peter Salmon's The Coffee Story' - Toby Litt

'I was constantly intoxicated by a sense of desire & loss' - Jake Arnott

'Wild and raucous... an extraordinarily accomplished debut' - Niall Griffiths

'Reminiscent of Phillip Roth's Everyman. But it's much, much funnier' - Sydney Morning Herald

'An exceptional debut' - Martyn Bedford

Hard Sell

Now in sexy orange!

Peter Salmon is an Australian writer living in the UK. His first novel, The Coffee Story (Sceptre, 2011), was a New Statesman Book of the Year. He has written frequently for Australian TV and radio and for broadsheets including the Guardian and the Sydney Review of Books. The Blue News, his satirical column about books and publishing, was subsequently collected and published by Melbourne University Press as Uncorrected Proof  (2005).  He has received Writer’s Awards from the Arts Council of England and the Arts Council of Victoria, Australia.  Formerly Centre Director of the John Osborne/The Hurst Arvon Centre (2006-2012), he also teaches creative writing, most recently at Pembroke College, Cambridge and Liverpool John Moores University.

Wheels of Cheese #56: Illumina!

hipster mahler

Hipster Mahler, before he grew up.

‘Television,’ wrote the critic Clive Barnes, ‘is the first truly democratic culture … entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want.’

Apparently, in classical music what people do want is a version of Ave Maria set to the tune of the Adagietto from Mahler’s Fifth Symphony. Now, I’m not saying it’s as bad as television, but crikey, it runs it close.

It’s the first track (billed helpfully as ‘the theme from Death in Venice) on the cd Illumina: Music of Light brought to you by the good people of New College Oxford, and it’s a stinker. If Mahler were alive today he’d be turning in his grave. They are pretty good singers, these dudes, to the extent that you can almost hear the apology in their voices as they stretch the hymn to fit the completely inappropriate tune, which itself contracts to try and meet the words halfway. I don’t think anyone should listen to this piece of music again, ever, and I’m pretty sure they won’t.

The rest of the cd features stuff like Benedictus: The Theme from Inspector Morse, so if you’re a fan of the show, look no further I guess. And on amazon they say the rest of the disc is ‘perfect for relaxation’. And you can’t ask for more than that, surely?

Wheels of Cheese #55 – Karl Jenkins, The Peacemakers


This is dreadful.

I did try to listen to this work with an open mind – there is no reason that populist classical music shouldn’t exist, and an infinite number of monkeys hammering away at ms paper wouldn’t only come up with the works of Schoenberg. But there are limits to one’s tolerance. Ten seconds into the first track I reached mine.

The cd is based on the idea that peace is good, which seems difficult to argue against, and therefore rather pointless to argue for. Jenkins presents for our consideration all the good folk who have become empty signifiers of peace – Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, the Dalai Lama, Martin Luther King, Anne Frank, you know the ones. The piece on Gandhi, as Jenkins points out in the liner notes, features an Indian flute and tabla. Nelson Mandela has, um, ‘African’ percussion (equivalent to saying ‘European’ guitar). Temple bells? That’d be the Dalai Lama then. And ‘echoes of the deep south’ for Martin Luther King. No ‘efnik’ music for Anne Frank – I guess neither Germany nor Judaism has a particularly significant folk musical heritage. Or is it, maybe, that Frank, is ‘one of us’?

Anyway, for almost two hours the choir hammers away, mostly in unison, at this idea that peace is good. And that peace, man, that was all that these people wanted. As Karl Jenkins says in the liner notes, quoting Rumi, ‘All religions, all singing one song: Peace be with you’.

Where to start?



Simone Weil and the Iliad

swMy new article looking at the work of Simone Weil in relation to Homer’s Iliad is now online at the Sydney Review of Books. Go here to read it!